It has taken me most of my life to understand who I am and my purpose in life. I had never been very interested in studying psychology or human behavior. I did not grow up in a Christian environment. But it never occurred to me to question my upbringing or culture.

Five years ago, I began a training program to help ministry leaders move from being stuck, to moving forward into God’s plan for them. Little did I know, I was “stuck” myself! I learned a lot during my training, and that sparked my curiosity. I decided to seek professional counseling, receive additional coaching, take several personality tests, read lots of helpful books, and to spend time in prayer.

The first six months of therapy were painful. I had to do some digging where I didn’t want to go. It was a very emotional time with feelings of deep uncertainty, sadness, and anger. I had no idea of all that was waiting to be unpacked and dealt with for me to get unstuck, to find freedom, and—best of all—redemption.

I began to understand the importance of knowing who I am and why I behave the way I do. I like to call my first year of therapy the year of “good-hard.” As I started working on each one of my issues, I realized how my attitudes shaped the way I communicate with others, and that I wasn’t as “good” a person as I thought I was. I learned that certain behaviors can be manipulative, prideful, and sinful, even when they seem innocent: like eye-rolling, speaking before listening, sarcasm, keeping quiet to avoid conflict but building resentment at the same time, and the list goes on!

I didn’t like what I found out about myself, but the good that is resulting is amazing! These revelations have made the Gospel even more real, liberating, and beautiful to me. It’s like looking at a diamond. The Lord is redeeming each one of my issues, He is healing each one of my wounds, and He is showing me mercy and a new way to reflect His light while I wait for the day I see His face. I’ve known Jesus, my loving God, for a while, but through therapy I’ve met Jesus my Redeemer.

The Lord has sworn by his right hand and by his mighty arm: “Never again will I give your grain as food for your enemies, and never again will foreigners drink the new wine for which you have toiled; but those who harvest it will eat it and praise the Lord, and those who gather the grapes will drink it in the courts of my sanctuary.” (Isaiah 62:8-9 NIV)

In Isaiah 62, God tells us we have been vindicated, we have a new name, and that He rejoices over us. I know now exactly who I am. I believe it, claim it, and share it with you today to encourage you. You have to do some digging to find diamonds.

If you are having difficulties in life, I invite you to seek help. God works through others to show you His redeeming love. 

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Scripture is quoted from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION^®, NIV^® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.^® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.